in a relationship but friendless
Help! I'm in love, but where'd my friends go?Since meeting my girlfriend about 2 years ago, can't help but notice my friends are MIA. Don't think it's happening on purpose or anything, but when you live with someone and spend so much "quality time" together, one day you wake up and realize you can't call anyone cause you haven't spoken to them in over a year and it might make for awkward conversation. I'm very happy with my girl, but feel like a total loser.
We're pretty sure your girlfriend isn't home 24-7. If she is, you've got some serious issues on your hands. Make sure she's scheduling a lot of girls' nights out (that is, if you trust her...). That way you're off the hook on QT duty a lot more. If you're even remotely good at sports you might want to join an intramural league or something that's good clean fun and lends well to after-game beers. If your girlfriend gets upset and possessive, you'll now know why you were left friendless...
What do you think?
What others are saying
I think this is pretty common when single guys get involved in an intense relationship. Old male friends feel left out and eventually stop calling or coming around. Relationships take work and need to be cultivated like a garden if you want them to blossom.
comment by Tony at 2:17 pm
I think it’s healthy and important that you two have your own lives / own friends. Just be honest with your old friends, you never know. If they are mature and grounded, they will most likely understand or have been in the same situation themselves. It happens all the time and it may take more work to maintain those other relationships, but it’s definitely worth it!
comment by Kavita at 9:25 am
That conversation will be less awkward than you think. Your friends probably miss you!
comment by Carly at 9:13 am
you seem like a real girl’s guy. time you get in touch with your masculine side. she’ll thank you when you’re better in bed.
comment by gayle at 8:08 am
Have you considered ways that you might be able to include others in your life? What would feel nourishing to you AND the relationship? For example: a barbecue – and invite some of your old friends – they get to know her a little better and you can kick back and catch up.
comment by Judith at 2:20 pm