Brody Jenner: Why “A” is for Avril

Pop-rocker Avril Lavigne and and The Hills star Brody Jenner aren’t exactly known for their sterling conversational skills. Avril’s probably best remembered for communicating via her middle finger, and her “David Bau-wee” pronunciation snafu was legendary.

And Brody? When you spend that much time as a quasi-member of the Kardashian family, you can’t be expected to pop out verbal gems. Maybe that’s why Avril and Brody choose to express themselves (and their affection for each other) through the age-old art of body modification. What they can’t say with words, they say with matching tattoos–and, in Brody’s case, by shaving an anarchy symbol into his hair.

Reportedly, the stylized “A” also stands for “Avril.” (That’s about as punk rock as a Josh Groban concert, but when you’re already dealing with low expectations, you can’t ask for much.) Anyway, since these two have gone to the trouble of marking themselves up, Moonit wants to know if they’ll be covering up their matching ink anytime soon.

According to their birth date analysis, Brody (born on August 21, 1983) and Avril (born on September 27, 1984) have something pretty intense going on. In their case, “it’s just like Jerry Maguire–and every other guy trying to get out of the dog house–once said: you complete me.” The nice thing is that, in their case, it’s “actually true.” (And downright cheesy. But still true.) They’re “totally synced up on physical, emotional and social levels and, to sweeten the pot, their couple-ness actually attracts good fortune and big paydays.”

Even still, we feel compelled to ask…wasn’t Avril married? And isn’t she notoriously bratty? And hasn’t Brody had more girlfriends than Tila Tequila? Moonit seems to think that it’s all a thing of the past, and that “this kind of mutual awesomeness may be a first for both of them.” As a result, Moonit urges them to not “get weirded out when even their friends and family are rooting for them to stay together and make this thing legal.”

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Well, “if the overflowing bank accounts and thumbs up from loved ones aren’t enough visible proof of their compatibility,” take it from us: “you guys legitimately make each other better people.” And yes, “you had us at hello.”