The Roommate hits theaters this week, and if you missed the trailer during one of its 18,000,000,000 prime-time airings, we shall get you up to speed. Essentially, thanks to the infallible college roommate lottery, former Friday Night Lights-er Minka Kelly is saddled with her doppleganger, Gossip Girl star Leighton Meester.

After a promising beginning, Meester does her absolute best to terrorize the crap out of Kelly. It sounds like pretty standard horror fare, but since you’ve got to draw from somewhere to pull off convincing BFFs-turned-arch-nemeses, Moonit’s decided to see if there’s any method to this acting.

According to their birth dates, Leighton (born on April 9, 1986) and Minka (born on June 24, 1980) have quite a feisty real-life relationship. Although they’re “likely to be tight,” they’re also prone to “bickering all the time.” It can be tough because it feels like no matter how hard Leighton tries, “she just can’t seem to get through” to Minka.

The problem lies in their inherent differences; Leighton’s “intuitive, impulsive and works from her gut,” while Minka’s more “practical and rational.” We know it “can be aggravating to deal with someone whose approach to the world [is 180°] off,” but Leighton should consider “calmly talking through any issues that crop up” rather than getting all “Single White Female” on Minka.

And considering that this movie is essentially an SWF remake for the Gen Z crowd, could this be a “life imitates art” situation?  Let’s hope The Roommate screenplay wasn’t inspired by some real-life Leighton-Minka drama.

Moonit urges them to “look out–if they let the tension build, this relationship might not weather the storm.” But “once they learn to choose their battles and stop sweating the stupid stuff,” they actually have potential to become “lifelong friends.”

On the co-star front, it turns out there’s more than a little friendly competition lurking behind the scenes. According to their professional relationship analysis, it’s “like a good ol’-fashioned backstabbing is right around the corner.” In this relationship, Leighton and Minka both “need to keep their eyes wide open…they’re definitely going to encounter some obstacles that’ll test their commitment to each other.”

Watch your backs, ladies!

If you took all of Denise Richards’ and Nikki Sixx’s ex-es and corralled them in a room, it’d look like next season’s casting call for VH1s Celebrity Rehab (Either that, or the Dumb Tattoo Expo).What with his debauched glory days in Mötley Crüe (and her ordeal with Charlie Sheen), these two have each had their share of large relationship lumps.

Since they clearly have a thing for damaged goods, it’s no wonder these bastions of stability got together. Although USWeekly dishes that these two have “have a lot in common and are taking things slowly,” we wonder if they can really go the distance, or if they’re just another notch on each others’ studded, black leather belts.

According to their birth dates, Denise (born on February 17, 1971) and Nikki (born on December 11, 1958) might just be in this thing for the long haul. Consider them the less-cheesy version of the “wind beneath each other’s wings…they’re always on the same page, they’re super-patient with each other and they’re ready to work out anything that comes their way.”

Wow. That’s…not exactly what we’d expect from Kat Von D’s former squeeze and the star of Wild Things. We’ll suspend our judge-y side, and revel in the fact that they “already support each other’s ideals and values,” so much so that they “automatically ‘get’ each other.” And after living through some very public relationship roller coasters, it’s great that Denise and Nikki can provide some much-needed stability for each other.

They “connect on a really deep, emotional level,” and since they’re able to ground each other, this kind of consistency and support can lead to “zen-like harmony, spurring each other on to huge life achievements, and eventually, wedding bells!” You heard it here first, America: Denise Sixx. Get ready for what’s sure to be new reality show fodder. Hey, TLC, Bravo, and E!? Just remember–we officially reserve the rights to the title, “Just the Sixx of Us.”

It’s time for the next round of Hollywood Relationship Do-Si-Do! Now that Kim Kardashian’s ex, the infamous footballer Reggie Bush, is engaged to singer/model Mayra Veronica, Kim’s striking back by preying on another famous former flame. (Say that 10 times fast.)

Meet Gabriel Aubry, the one-time luh-vah of Halle Berry, and the father of their daughter, Nahla. Kim’s all over the gorgeous Gabriel, and rumors have been swirling that the callipygous Kardashian is ready for Aubry to make an honest woman (and mother) of her. Will they have any long-term luck, or is this pretty much skin deep? Moonit’s on the case.

According to their birth dates, Kim (born on October 21, 1980) and Gabriel (born on August 30, 1976) are adding some much-needed fun to each other’s lives. Like the Kelly Clarkson song goes, “their lives would suck without each other.” So, even as Kim’s slogging through her daily grind of photo ops and book signings, Gabriel “provides the unadulterated fun and excitement that helps her escape the boredom.”

Kim “loves what he has to say,” and she’s “always ready to try out the crazy new plans he concocts.” On the flip side, Gabriel’s “psyched that she’s so open-minded,” and Kim’s “generally having such a good time with him that she wouldn’t trade a minute for anything.”

The truth is, it “doesn’t really matter where they are or what they’re doing; any time they spend together is bound to be awesome.” Let’s just hope Halle doesn’t have any input; rumor has it that she’s blowing a gasket over the prospect of Kim-as-step-mom…

When you look at Kate Moss’ romantic track record, you just know there’s got to be something like the ASPCA for unwashed British rockers; that must be where Kate keeps finding these stubbly runts of the litter. (Obviously, she just has to take them home when she sees one looking all cute and desperate and hungover.)

Given her predilection for the lost puppies of the rock world, it’s no great surprise that UK tabloids are buzzing about Kate Moss and Jamie Hince, the guitarist of The Kills. Apparently, over the summer, the couple secretly wed in a small Sicilian church. Except? Not exactly.

They did walk down the aisle, but it may have been for a slightly different reason. According to Ms. Moss, the couple received a “spiritual blessing for their relationship” rather than a real-deal wedding. (For those of you old enough to remember, about 30 years ago, Mick Jagger and his longtime partner Jerry Hall opted for a similar Hindi blessing.)

The event was so secret, they didn’t even invite Sadie Frost, the BFF who introduced the couple to each other. Is this breach of etiquette a harbinger of other bad habits to come? And wedding or not, are these two meant to be?

According to their birth dates, Kate (born on January 16, 1974) and Jamie (born on December 19, 1968) have a relationship that “may not be worth the price of admission.” Their romantic assessment indicates that, with these two, there’s “never a dull moment…we hope you love Six Flags, because you’re in for a real roller coaster with this one.”

Don’t get us wrong, “the attraction is undeniable,” but while Kate will “want to spend all their time under the covers,” Jamie will “probably end up breaking their bed–and potentially her heart–in the process.” When this duo teams up, “they do a really good job of being bad–whether it’s binge eating or partying, they’re up for it” (Like those countless late nights at China White.)

Kate and Jamie’s assessment goes on to say that, “not only do they tend to be a bad influence on each other, but they can’t seem to escape their own drama.” Unfortunately, “as much as there’s heat, there’s even more friction.” It figures that these two have gotta “get used to misunderstandings, bruised egos, and the constant nagging feeling like they’re being used.”

All in all, their “chemistry can make for a few fun all-nighters, but it can also leave them burnt out and broke in the morning.” Moonit’s recommendation to Kate? “If you’re dead-set on turning this bucking bronco into something long-term, drop the nonchalance, address your issues and seriously talk about what’s important to you.”

Hell has officially frozen over: the most famous bachelor in the world, Spanish singer Julio Iglesias, is officially off the market. (Stop crying. We said Julio, not Enrique.) This past week, Iglesias married Dutch model Miranda Rijnsburger in a private ceremony in Marbella, Spain.

We’d be more surprised, but they’ve already been together for 20 years, and they’ve got a bunch of kids together. Are we being jerks if we call the nuptials a foregone conclusion? And why, after two decades, did Julio suddenly decide to put a ring on it?

According to their birth date analysis, Julio (born on September 23, 1943) and Miranda (born on October 5, 1965) have “two tickets to paradise.” Their relationship can “closely resemble a buffet of awesomeness” if they’ve “got the means to bankroll it.”

Considering Julio is one of the top 10 selling artists of all time–can you say over 200 million records worldwide–they’re probably all set on the money front.

Moonit’s assessment suggests that Julio’s relationship has profited more than a tad from a career devoted to writing and performing romantic ballads; he and Miranda are masters at the whole “breakfast in bed, wining and dining, long walks on the beach and ravenous desire” thing.

The couple is able to easily overcome their 22-year age gap because  they’re “into a lot of the same things,” which makes for some “fun times, both in and out of bed.”

Julio and Miranda’s particularly strong connection lies in their “tendency to indulge in the finer things in life.” Since they’ve got a “nice expense account to fall back on,” we give him the green light to “take her along for the ride.”

Congrats, Iglesiases! Or, Iglesiae? Iglesiari? However you say it, we wish you happy days and more chart-topping hits.

Things have been kind of crazytown for Tiger Woods and Elin Nordegrin. First, there was last November’s mysterious car crash. Next, Tiger spent most of his waking hours doing damage control on his then-newly-uncovered string of mistresses. (Seriously? He was messing around on Elin Nordegrin, the model? Cheating on that blonde bombshell makes about as much sense as a solar-powered flashlight.)

And finally, when it came to his golf standing, he epically screwed the pooch. It’s really no wonder that the couple decided to go their separate ways; as of this past Monday, these two are finalized, footloose, and fancy-free.

We hate to say it, but this is one divorce that we were kind of rooting for. In light of Woods’ wandering eye, Moonit’s decided to see what brought these two together in the first place. According to their analysis, Elin (born on January 1, 1980 ) and Tiger (born on December 30, 1975) are a pair that’s, “guaranteed to be interesting!”

Moonit urges people with Elin and Tiger’s birth dates to, “be forewarned: unless he’s up for getting emotionally, physically and mentally involved with her, he shouldn’t even think about barking up her tree. This relationship will be super intense in every way.” (We guess that includes the intense way locals describe her. Around town, Elin’s known as a woman who, “has a temper and flies off the handle… Everyone in the neighborhood was talking about how Elin ‘beat his ass’”. Guess you have to rule with an iron fist if you’ve got that kind of hubby on your hands!)

Yikes. Even still, Moonit’s assessment reveals that this combative couple was cosmically bound to give things a shot–for better or worse. Tiger and Elin’s unique birth date combination compelled the two of them to get to know each other better. In particular, Tiger was the one to put the ball in play, while Elin, who’s far less likely to put herself out there, succumbed to her curiosity.

All said, maybe Tiger wasn’t as prepared for the full package as he once seemed to be. If only he had sowed a wild oat or two (or 23?) before they tied the knot…

They’ve got it all. The matching, wavy-brown hair. The adorable accents. The are-they-or-aren’t-they guessing game with the press. Even though they’ve committed the cardinal Hollywood sin–keeping their personal lives, you know, personal–British actor Orlando Bloom and Aussie model Miranda Kerr have finally thrown the gossip-mongers a bone by confirming their engagement! Woooo!

Soon, their pair of perfectly chiseled features will stroll down the aisle and lovingly coo their “I do”s…and if their tight-lipped-ness is any indication of things to come, they’ll officially tell the media about it when they’re about to have their first grandchild. But will the brunette beauties make it that far? Moonit’s here to find out.

Find out what Moonit had to say about another Victoria’s Secret angel…

According to their birth date analysis, Miranda (born on April 20, 1983) and Orlando (born on January 13, 1977) are “giving Fabio a run for his money”–which is to say that they’re basically a walking romance novel. But you might not be expecting Moonit’s follow-up.

Miranda and Orlando’s romantic reading goes on to say that, “even if this explosive chemistry were their only asset, they’re probably get along just fine.” The cool part about this relationship is that, “it’s not just about the heat; these two are genuinely into each other, and they care enough to be inventive about showing their appreciation.”

Orlando is “able to be himself” around Miranda, and he’s naturally “so open and genuine that it totally put her at ease.” And Miranda’s ideas–even the ones that don’t pertain to the bedroom–are awesome enough that’s he’s generally on board. All this positivity also means they might be well-suited as friends or co-workers.

See what’s in store for your relationships on Moonit!

But be forewarned: “it’s best to be vigilant about maintaining separate worlds for business and pleasure,” otherwise “things can get complicated.” Fine. Orlando can steer clear of modeling, and Miranda can easily keep from dipping her toes in the acting pool. We don’t want scare you, sweetie, but remember Fair Game starring the lovely Cindy Crawford? Yeah. Don’t do that.

What’s with all these gorgeous, talented women teaming up with disposable dirt bags? Sandra Bullock, Kate Winslet, and now, Halle Berry? Sheesh. The partners they’ve picked are so beneath these women, these guys would have to dig straight upwards for a day just to see sunlight. We know self-esteem isn’t so easy to come by, but really? You’re Hollywood icons, ladies. Own it.

And now, on to Ms. Berry. After some fair-to-middling marital choices–see ex-spouses aka total dogs David Justice and Eric Benet–Oscar-winner Halle Berry seemed to find the perfect guy. Enter Canadian-born Gabriel Aubry. (*insert angelic sound effect*). The two met on a Versace shoot in 2006, and soon, Berry’s life expanded to include an adorable daughter (Nahla) and a supportive, devoted supermodel/partner.

Check out some other A-List actress issues.

Things seemed pretty hunky dory until this past week, when Gabriel and Halle announced the end of their four-year relationship. According to Aubry, things weren’t “working anymore,” and “the nine-year age difference” was proving to be too much to handle. We’re like, “what the…?” Recent interviews revealed that the couple never actually planned to marry, but Gabriel has also alluded to wanting a brother or sister for Nahla. First, he’s all, “mor kidz plskthx,” and then he’s all, “ur old bye?” Something’s screwy, and Moonit’s ready to suss out the real story.

According to Moonit, there’s a little more to this split than the age gap. Their birth date analysis shows that Halle (born on August 14, 1966) and her baby daddy (born on January 4, 1976) have a tendency to “push each other’s buttons.” Moonit explains that their relationship is, “like Beirut in the ’80s: the bullets start to fly when these two get together.”

Their reading goes on to say that, “there’s some serious tension between them…in particular, she’s likely to ring up a bunch of his pet peeves without even realizing it.” Plus, Halle doesn’t usually hang with “self-involved people, so after a while, his out-of-this-world ego can start to rub her the wrong way…Like most narcissists, it’s his world, and she’s just a part of it. Normally she wouldn’t even think about dating someone like him…” Sadly, the break-up kind of makes sense. In this case, it looks like beauty is, in fact, only skin deep.

Model monogamist Leonardo Dicaprio is the king of co-habitation but, with this many long-term live-ins under his belt, we wonder if he’ll ever deem any of his ladyloves to be actual marriage material. Case in point: after her tumultuous six-year relationship with Leo, Brazilian bombshell Gisele Bundchen got sick of waiting for a ring. Nanoseconds after their split, Gisele got hitched to Tom Brady and popped out a kid. Message received… loud and clear…

Check out Moonit’s analysis of Gisele & Tom’s relationship.

Now, Leo’s mom is urging him to keep a tight grip on his latest on-again, off-again girlfriend; according to Momma DiCaprio, a ring is the best way to ensure that stunner Bar Refaeli will stick around. It looks like mother knows best: back in 2009, Leo’s inability to commit led to a temporary split from Bar. Now that the Israeli “it”-girl is back in his life, she’s reportedly putting her foot down; Bar’s refusing to live with Leo unless they get engaged. Will her power play sway this errant bachelor’s heart? And why isn’t Leo taking his relationships to the next level?  (Is it because of how much wedding planning sucks? If so, we hear you.) Moonit’s hot on the case, and ready for answers.

According to their birth date analysis, it looks like Leo (born on November 11, 1974) is doing his best to keep his relationship with Bar (born on June 4, 1985) on autopilot. Rather than searching for his true soul mate, he prefers to coast along, hang out, and keep things casual. Says Moonit, “he’s not inclined to rock the boat; he’s drawn to her and the more predictable route… It’s always tempting to keep the status quo going.” The thing is, “she has this tendency to reinforce his bad habits (like lazily dating international swimsuit models) and won’t be encouraging his growth and development anytime soon.”

They fare better from a platonic perspective; Moonit’s readout reveals that, “they definitely care a lot about each other, and this has all the makings of a solid long-term friendship.” However, there are a few caveats: it will only work, “if they’re willing to lighten up a bit and stop taking everything so darn seriously all the time… it’s a classic case of ‘extrovert vs. introvert.’” Moonit goes on to explain that, “most of the time, [Bar] can be very thoughtful, but she can also be judgmental and conservative in her views, sucking all the fun out of his day.” The sum-up: if Leo wants a friend with benefits, Bar’s probably a solid pick. As far as ’til-death-do-they-part? Maybe not so much.

Find out more about what Bar’s demanding from Leo these days.