Why Courteney & David Are Calling It Quits

News recently broke that, after one adorable daughter and 11 years of improbable togetherness, Courteney Cox and David Arquette are calling it quits. Not to rub salt in the wound, but to be totally honest, we never really…got it.Courteney has always been elegant and accessible, while David’s public image consistently paints him as a world-class doofus. Not that there’s anything wrong with doofuses (doofii?).

It’s just that Courteney always seemed like the type who’d really enjoy Jon Stewart, while David seemed like he’d rather spend an evening with a hand buzzer and a whoopie cushion. Why did these opposites finally lose their attraction? Or were they more similar than they seemed? Moonit’s here to find out.

According to their birth dates, if Courteney (born on June 15, 1964) and David (born on Sept 8, 1971) were looking for a soft and fluffy relationship filled with a lot of “no, you hang up first!”s, they should have looked somewhere else. Despite being the “cub” of the relationship, David’s actually “got quite a level head on his shoulders” and always “seems to have a way of taking a step back to analyze the situation with a cool and objective eye.”

In fact, he can be “so detached from the situation that he seems to be having some kind of out of an out-of-body experience.” This is quite a contrast to Courteney’s “energetic and involved approach to anything she does.” Believe it or not, she’s been “really lucky to have him around…whenever issues crop up, she knows he can be trusted to give his unbiased opinion.”

These two lasted for over a decade because, “as different as they may seem, their personalities complement each other.” Courteney’s “not afraid to ask for help,” and David’s “really good at dishing it out, telling it like it is with his ‘tough love’ ways.”

Fortunately for little Coco, these two aren’t lying when they claim they’ll “remain best friends and responsible parents to our daughter.” On the platonic front, Moonit’s assessment indicates that “not even the network can break these two up.”

The reading goes on to say that “life may throw crazy twists and turns at their relationship, but these two are pulling a Joey and Chandler, a Thelma and Louise or a Will and Grace.” They’re “friends to the end, and even if there are a few hiccups along the way, they’re bound to work things out.”