Looks Like A-Rod is Whipped

Moving on from Madonna drama, A-Rod goes starry eyed once again, this time for Goldie Hawn’s daughter Kate Hudson (who’s known to have a thing for athletes). The couple is a home-run match made by A-Rod and Kate’s real-estate broker. According to our analysis of their birth dates, he’s absolutely defenseless against her feminine charms, so A-Rod’s teammates are probably ripping on him right about now for being so whipped. But they’re just jealous of the attention, and A-Rod’s going to get the last laugh this time.

That’s because Kate was—oddly enough—put on this earth to make sure he achieves his true potential (we’re not making this up, we swear). So A-Rod can continue being himself, only better. Lucky for the fans, this isn’t a rematch of Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo. So get ready to see A-Rod’s batting average shoot through the roof. We can’t promise he won’t choke, but you might want to start betting on the Yankees this season.

Don’t get us wrong; this relationship is going to be far from a cakewalk. Things are going to be pretty intense whenever personalities as strong as these two join forces. Especially since his temper has a way of… ahem… flaring up every now and again. But we say any disagreements are a small price to pay for making him a more mature and evolved guy (we know, he’s got a long way to go on that road). As long as he can take Kate’s constructive criticism in stride and not let petty jealousies get in the way, things will go great… at least through the summer season.  We’re cheering for these two, but this will probably be more of a solid base hit than a grand slam.